- [Alan and Joanna have just robbed a shop]
- Shopkeeper: "That'll be £16.20 please."
- Alan: "Right, here's 5, 10, 15, and 1…"
- Joanna: "What? What are you doing? She's supposed to be giving you the money."
- Alan: "Well, she gave me the money and I'm using it to pay…" [To the shopkeeper, realising his error.] "Oh, very clever. Hm? Very clever. Sorry, but you have to get up pretty bloody early in the morning to trick Alan St…Stath…Not his name, there."
Who’s the daddy? I think you’ll find that I am the daddy.
- Alan Statham
- Alan: You’re probably thinking that in some bizarre way that my playing the recorder has caused, erm, an expansion down below.
- Boyce: I wasn’t thinking that, but I am now.